I get a daily Astrocenter email with both my horoscope and my Tarot reading.  It’s not because I believe everything I read – more often, I like to have a day, then go back and read what it said was supposed to happen.  And sometimes there’s a little “nugget” that rings true.  I opened it early in the day today and this is what the Tarot reading said:

Hello Bridget, Here’s your Tarot Reading for MARCH 09, 2008.   Love   Touchstone   Career       The prospect of a new love, promised by the Magician and the Sun, is putting a big happy smile on your face today, dear Bridget. You’re feeling a surge of passion in your heart. This will be directed either to your significant other – or to an attractive stranger that you meet by chance. The keyword for this beautiful sunny day is optimism. Mark it with a pink heart in your calendar! At work today, everything will go smoothly, and the atmosphere with your colleagues will be friendly and professional. Under the influence of Temperance and the Magician, everyone will show real team spirit, and this will have a very beneficial effect on the business. Moreover, you are willing to listen and to communicate effectively, and before you know it, you might be in for a promotion. Continue in this positive spirit!

I like it.  I haven’t “dated” anyone since May. In August, I had a short re-fling with the guy I broke up with in May, and I have a “friend” with whom the line between friends and more sometimes gets blurred… but even that has slowed since October or November.  I’ve been happy being single – for the most part – but for the last few days I’ve been craving human contact.  I’ve been wanting someone to snuggle with, someone to hold hands with, someone to lean on.  Perhaps I’m ready to date again… ready to share my heart and feel the emotional and physical connection with another person.

I think I have a better idea of what I’m looking for and what I need now that I’ve taken the break and spent some time figuring out what has worked and what hasn’t worked in my life.   I’ve dated three men who had horrible relationship with their mothers (abuse and abandonment) and while there’s a small part of me (probably the psychology major part) that thinks that I can help, I can heal, and I can save him, I really can’t… and I really don’t want to have to.  I dated a man who was completely opposite from me in politics and I found that it was hard to relate to him because we looked at issues from opposite directions.

I want someone who is strong and safe and protective, but also allows me to be and respects that I am independent and self-sufficient – they’re not opposite.  I want someone with a similar outlook on life and issues, including money, politics and spirituality.  He must be “into” music and appreciate all kinds.  Must love dogs, must get along with my family, must have a job (or have some other way to pay his bills).  Physically, I’m not picky, actually…  I don’t care what he looks like or what kind of clothes he wears or what kind of car he drives (as long as he can get where he’s going on his own most of the time)… but he has to be taller than me (5′8″).

So, I’m off to the grocery store to see if my attractive stranger is waiting there for me!

Happy Sunday!

I’m being challenged in my job. I work as an appraiser. We are hired by the bank to estimate the value of a property to ensure that if the borrower defaults on the loan, the bank will be able to get their money back. Often, the developer or property owner has done their research and so their estimate of value is close to ours. Sometimes, though, that is not the case… sometimes their opinion of value is higher than ours. Our job is to keep the bank safe… and sometimes that doesn’t make the developer happy. I’ve been challenged several times, and my reaction is always the same. At first, I think “oh shit, I messed up” and I start to panic. Then I go through my process and make sure that if I had to do it again, I’d do it the same way. Usually the developer’s comments have to do with the comparable sales or rentals used in our reports. This is THEIR work and their money and their life and so they sometimes get nasty and use words like inappropriate and ridiculous and make accusations “did the appraiser even look at the property?” That doesn’t help with the panic… but EVERY SINGLE TIME I’ve been challenged, I’ve gone back through the report and still feel confident in what I did. The developer will then give us comparable sales that they feel are more appropriate. So far, every time this has happened, I’ve been able to shoot each of their comparables down for one reason or another. These challenges are nightmares because of the panic part but without fail, I feel more confident in my work by the time I’m done.

I’m being challenged right now. The worst part is that I’m being challenged by a developer I like. He’s young and successful and I’ve appraised a couple of his other projects. He accused me of using “inappropriate comparable sales” and, as usual, I panicked. The comparable sales I used are similar to the subject in location, size, amenities, view, and number of bedrooms and baths, but inferior in construction quality. This is not inappropriate. It would be inappropriate to use comparable sales that are of similar construction and different in all of the other characteristics.

I’ve been on vacation this week, but the office has forwarded his concerns and accusations to me, and I have read them all week. I have made notes and I’m writing this blog, but I will not respond to him (or the bank) until Monday… part of my taking care of myself resolution. This is my break… this is my vacation. Unfortunately, I’m not good at putting it completely out of my mind, but I need to try. I need to respect my limits. On Monday, I’ll write the letter calmly defending my opinion of value and explaining why I don’t think that the comparable sales he provided are valid or good indicators of value. I’ll question myself and ensure that I still think I’m right, and then I’ll turn it in and move on, more confidently, to the next report.

Wish me luck!

I’m not a big fan of resolutions because, like almost everyone, I make them and then don’t keep them. This year, though, I want to make life resolutions. I’ve made decisions that are sure to improve my life – physical, emotional, and spiritual.

1) I will acknowledge my strengths and the great things about me and I’ll be grateful to be where I am. A friend recently pointed out that I often talk about the negative parts of my life and spend little time thinking and talking about how far I’ve come and what I have done and who I am.

2) I will incorporate daily exercise into my life. I work at home and so there are many days that I don’t leave the house but I can do weights, and I just bought a jump rope and an exercise bike, and I can make myself take a walk and get some fresh air. I need to use my body – every day.

3) I will take better care of myself and respect the limits of my body. When I know I’m pushing too hard and over-doing it, I need to stop… preferably before I get to that point, actually. I will say no to things that I can’t do, rather than saying yes, and dreading every minute or having to cancel at the last minute. I will honor myself.

4) I will get rid of my shitty friends. I will stop spending time and energy on people who a) don’t deserve it, b) don’t reciprocate, and ) suck the life out of me. I realize that it’s not a nice thing to say about people, but I have spent my limited and valuable energy on people who have dropped me quicker than a hot potato when something better came along or when it was inconvenient or when I didn’t do exactly what they wanted or expected. I realize that people come and go in our lives, but I want to be more selective about who I invest in. Life’s too short.

OK, well, I have really enjoyed reading other people’s blogs and so I thought I’d give it a try.  I have enjoyed writing for most of my adult life and I especially enjoy “free writes” and I’m not such a fan of the revising, finishing, and publishing part.  I’m hoping that this will help me process my thoughts and be a little more brave about getting my words and thoughts out there.  I’m 32 years old and single and taking a break from dating for awhile… not easy, I have to say, but I think in the end, it will be a smart decision for me.  My ex-husband and I divorced nearly four years ago and I’ve been in a couple of serious relationships since then and have dated not-so-seriously as well… as one friend put it I “sure know how to pick ‘em”… so until I’m a better “picker”, I’m out of the “pickin’ ‘em” business… of course, I know that I won’t know if my pickin’ skills have improved until I try pickin’ again, so we’ll see how long this lasts.  My last relationship broke up in May and although I can’t say that I’ve exactly stayed  away from relationships, or more like potential relationships, since then, I’m happy and proud that I’ve remained single.  More on that later, but there’ s a small introduction to me.